Habits 4-6: Paradigms of interdependence

• The Emotional Bank Account describes the amount of trust that has been built up in a relationship. Interdependent relationships depend on the status of this bank account.

Habit 4: Think win/win

• Win/win sees life as cooperative, not competitive. It is a way to reach decisions that are better than compromises.
• There are other paradigms for making decisions (e.g. win/lose). Sometimes we are scripted with these paradigms, but we can change these scripts. (See habits 1-3)

Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood

• We tend to listen autobiographically. We try to relate what the person is saying to our own experience. We should listen to their story before trying to clearly communicate our own story.
• Listen to both content and feeling of what the other person is saying.

Habit 6: Synergize

• Value the differences. Your motive for valuing the differences is that they will lead to creative win/win solutions.
• One example of a difference: logical vs. creative thinking (right-brain vs. left brain)

Habit 7: Sharpen the saw

• Sharpening the saw increases your personal PC (your ability to produce results)
• Four dimensions of renewal: physical, spiritual, mental (these relate to habits 1-3, your ability to be independent); relational (this relates to habits 4-6, your ability to be interdependent)