Two types of chronic anxiety from “A Failure of Nerve”

I just finished reading A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, by Edwin Friedman. It’s a book about leadership in the #2018TechReadingChallenge.

Friedman’s key concept in the book is chronic anxiety, which is the foremost challenge to leaders. Leaders have “a failure of nerve” when the fail to rise above the anxiety that surrounds them.

Since we all are surrounded by anxiety, we all have the opportunity to become leaders. One of Friedman’s catch phrases is “from parents to presidents,” reflecting that anyone can be a leader, whether you are a leader of a family, or of an entire country. In my day job, I’m a leader by being a senior software engineer, since I am responsible for delivering value, minimizing risk, as well as mentoring the junior developers on the team.

The desire for a quick fix is the first example of anxiety. It occurs when we reactively look to solve a symptom, rather than being thoughtful and addressing the underlying problem. We look for techniques and methods, without realizing that the last 6 methods we tried did not solve the problem. Maybe the quick fix is converting the entire organization to scrum, without realizing that the underlying relationships of your organization are toxic.

A leader is a person who realizes that methods and techniques won’t solve problems. Instead, it’s more about what you do after you make the decision.

Reactivity is the second example of anxiety. Reactivity in leadership is the person who blames others when there is a problem, or who has the same knee-jerk reaction every time. It’s the person who blows up when something unexpected happens. It’s me, when I take it out on a coworker whose work didn’t meet my expectations.

The well-differentiated leader is less reactive. “Those who are less reactive are more self-contained, less blaming, more imaginative, less anxious, and more responsible. When they do seek help, they generally can hear suggestions well, offer less resistance to suggestions for change, and treat their consultant as a coach rather than a savior. Such an approach emphasizes strength rather than weakness, accountability rather than blame, taking responsibility for self rather than feeling for others.” (p. 164)

In a software development context, the well-differentiated leader is the person who is able to maintain their professionalism in the mist of an emergency bug fix. Or the person who is able to clarify expectations and help the team deliver, even when the priorities of the organization seem to be constantly changing. Or a person who handles interruptions to their work with grace, even when it is the 3rd interruption that day.

Anxiety is not just an individual challenge, it is a challenge for organizations and societies at large. Anxiety is a driving force in the emotional processes that permeate our interactions one another. Unchecked, these emotional processes will stifle our imagination. Regardless of the emotions themselves, these processes have a way of being passed down from generation to generation, and so the greatest challenge of a leader is to see and overcome the processes surrounding him or her.

Instead of our imagination being stifled, we must take responsibility for our own being and destiny, which Friedman calls being a well-differentiated leader. This is not a matter of finding the right techniques or having a self-improvement checklist, and so in this sense, the book is not a typical self-help book. Rather, it aligns more with leadership books such as Ordering Your Private World, and Leading with a Limp. It also reminded me of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which I did a review of a few years ago (part 1) (part 2).

What is software architecture?

In my post about Event sourcing and CQRS, I touched on software architecture, but assumed it was already defined. I’d like to dive into that a bit more based on some recent reading.

My definition of software architecture is providing structure that allows productive, effective software development to occur.

Provides structure means having the appropriate technology, practices, culture, and organization in place to allow flourishing. As a software developer I tend to think of the technology (the code) first, but it is certainly not the only thing needed to have effective software architecture. More on that later.

Productive, effective software development means producing software that meets the needs of the business. There are 2 ways that software meets the needs of the business:

  • What the software does
  • How it does it

Or to use more formal terminology:

  • Functional requirements
  • Non-functional requirements

The functional requirements are the business behaviors that provide value to the customer. So for example, if we are creating software for a library, we need the ability to check out books, check in books, and keep a library catalog. Each of these has several behaviors behind it, and there are probably other behaviors I am missing.

The non-functional requirements are also known as the “-ilities” that describe things about the software besides its function. For example, testability is how easy the software is to test. Maintainability is how easy the software is to maintain. There are many others:

  • Evolvability
  • Scalability
  • Security
  • Extensibility
  • Feasibility
  • Reliability
  • Deployability

Besides the above, non-functional requirements might relate to the skill level of developers required to maintain the system, or the structure of the development teams that maintain it. (e.g. the presence of an off-shore development team)

The central claim of software architecture is that you can implement functional requirements in any architecture, but different architectural styles have different non-functional characteristics. What do I mean by that? They provide software structures that emphasize some characteristics at the expense of others. This is a classic engineering trade-off. The job of the software architect is to select an appropriate software structure that matches the non-functional requirements, which should also match the business expectations.

My term “software structure” would overlap with the term architectural pattern, which I first heard about from Mark Richards. Some examples of architectural patterns include:

  • Layered architecture
  • Microkernel architecture
  • Pipes and filters architecture
  • Service oriented architecture
  • Event driven architecture
  • Space-based architecture
  • Microservices

Ah yes, microservices, the buzzword of the last few years. I don’t have time to go into microservices in this blog post, but check out Jimmy Bogard’s Microservices FAQ for more info.

I mentioned earlier that there are different aspects of providing structure. In addition to architectural patterns, which affect the code (technology), there are:

  • organizational patterns (e.g. are teams organized by business capability or by similar job roles? What is the mapping between products to teams?)
  • practices (such as TDD or Extreme programming)
  • culture (probably another blog post altogether)

Ideally all four aspects of structure work together to accomplish the desired outcome. (I’m not sure of the origin of this list of 4 items came from, if anybody knows, leave a note in the comments.)

Code generation

Code generation is a common tool in software. Usually it sits behind the scenes, just a layer of automation translating from one programming language to another. But sometimes it becomes useful to build your own code generator. In a project at work, we’ve implemented a code generator based off a DSL (domain specific language) that generates an implementation of our domain contract. There’s a lot of meaty terms in that last sentence, let’s spend some time and break them down.

Common use case: compilers

First, I said that code generation is common, but behind the scenes. That’s because most compilers have some form of code generation happening in them. So for example, compiling Typescript for a Web app, or compiling Swift for an iOS app.

Let’s talk a little more about compilers. A compiler’s job is to take source code that humans can read and produce output that a computer can run. This is broken up into parts:

  1. Parsing the source code
  2. Stuff
  3. Generate output.

Parsing the source code is all about understanding text and turning it into a format a computer can do stuff with.

Stuff could be interesting things, like in Typescript, adding static type checking to vanilla Javascript. This usually involves manipulating an abstract syntax tree. For example, you could enforce rules in the tree and make sure everything is valid.

Generate output is the code generation part. The tree needs to turn back into something that the computer can run. For Typescript this is generating Javascript, for Swift, this is producing machine code.

A quick example

2 + 2

Given the above syntax, parsing turns it into a syntax tree:

Then for stuff maybe we want to enforce that a “Plus” always has “integers” connected to it. In this case, our tree looks good.

For generate output, we need a rule for what to do with a “Plus”. I’m making up this rule:

  • Load the left hand number into the computer.
  • Load the right hand number into the computer.
  • Add them.

So we apply that rule to our tree and get:

  • Load a 2 into the computer.
  • Load a 2 into the computer.
  • Add them.

Which is approximately what machine language looks like 🙂 I linked to NAND to Tetris which my friend Devin Mork showed me. It reminds me of my computer architecture course in college.

Domain Specific Languages

A domain specific language is making your own programming language. This lets you (1) create a language that is more meaningful and specific, and (2) produce generated code that does something useful.

One example is defining an API between two microservices. You could exchange URL’s back and forth between developers:

But then you’d also need to agree on an API body format (maybe JSON), whether things are a GET or a POST, and a myriad of other details.

What if instead you could use a DSL that let you define the following:

api Math {
    command add-numbers(
        leftHand: int,
        rightHand: int
    query get-result(

This defines something meaningful to the domain (we have an api with a command and a query), but hides the implementation.

The implementation could be a Web API, it could be a “REST API,” it could be something like Apple’s XPC. This implementation would be built out as a set of code generators, but it is not part of the domain definition. So for example, we could generate a Jersey controller:

public class MathController {

    public Response getResult() {

    public Response addNumbers(@QueryParam("leftHand") String leftHand, @QueryParam("rightHand") String rightHand) {

This is a partial example, you’d need a bridge between the generated code and hand-written code. For example, maybe “something” is a call to an interface that a developer will implement by hand.

This is not a new idea, Martin Fowler wrote a book “Domain Specific Languages.” For web APIs see also grpc and api blueprint. If those meet your needs, I would use those instead of making the investment in building your own DSL and code generator.

Event sourcing and CQRS

As part of the #2018TechReadingChallenge, I’ve been working my way through Microservices Patterns, by Chris Richardson (currently a Manning MEAP).

Event sourcing and CQRS are two key architecture concepts in the book that have less to do with the “micro” in “microservices,” and more to do with software architecture in general. While they are often mentioned together, they are separate concepts, and solve slightly different problems.

Event sourcing fits in the general category of an append only model, which is a way of persisting the data in your application. Instead of storing the current state, it stores history that led up to the present. It stores these using events, which are immutable, and represent business intent. Events record a thing that has happened.

A related concept in domain driven design is an aggregate, which rebuilds state by querying the event history.

CQRS stands for Command Query Responsibility Segregation. This relates to an OO principle, command query separation, which classifies methods into “commands,” which mutate the data (but does not return data), and “queries,” which return data only. In CQRS, we extend this principle to the design of a subdomain, and separate the responsibility of writing the data from reading the data. The two sides often communicate using events.

It solves a “stale data” problem in a collaborative domain. A collaborative domain is a business domain where multiple users are working together on a set of data, and expect that data to be coherent. The data is only as stale as the lag between the command side and the query side. However, by separating these sides and putting a visible part of the architecture between them, we have raised awareness that there will always be stale data in a collaborative system.

Another advantage to CQRS is that the read side and the command side can be scaled independently, so for example, if the number of queries is vastly greater than the commands, you can add more nodes that handle the queries.

For more on these concepts, see the CQRS Journey page on Microsoft, specifically the Exploring CQRS and Event Sourcing e-book. I’m also drawing from Patterns for Building Distributed Systems for The Enterprise, by Michael Perry on Pluralsight.

Dreyfus model of skill acquisition

I just finished reading Pragmatic Thinking and Learning, by Andy Hunt, as part of my 2018 Tech Reading Challenge. (It fits in the category, “a book about an abstract concept.”) In lieu of a full review, I’m sharing some key takeaways from chapter 2, “Journey from Novice to Expert.”

The Dreyfus model of skill acquisition is a tool to help you understand  how you are doing in a new skill. It can apply to any skill area, such as cooking, writing, bowling, or software development. It comes from a paper by the Dreyfus brothers, published in 1980. In it, they identify five stages of skill development. I’ll stick these at the bottom of the article (It’s a bunch of bulleted lists) and talk about some of my takeaways.


The Dreyfus model helps us understand a few different common problems in the world of professional software development.

First is a tendency to over-rate our own abilities. This can happen when we don’t know what we don’t know. This is known as the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Second is when we decide to stop learning, and yet think that expert status has been achieved. This has been described as the expert beginner, and Erik Dietrich has a set of articles about it over at his blog.

The Dreyfus model does not address how large or small a skill is scoped, but it seems you can break this up into small pieces. For example, the skill of unit testing is separate from the skill of refactoring, or from designing for test. In The Art of Unit Testing, Roy Osherove lists these as separate skills.

No one size fits all

My big takeaway from the 5 stages is that it can help explain why I am uncomfortable in different problem solving situations. For example, if I’m being asked to fit into a strict set of rules, and yet solve a problem that is very familiar to me, I can chafe a little. The rules are more suited to a novice, and I’m feeling more confident. On the flip side, if I have junior developers on the team, it is a good thing to have conventions, standards, and some guidelines for them to follow. And if I’m pursuing a senior engineer role, it’s my job to create the guidelines.

Movements target certain skill levels

The different stages help us identify how movements can target different skill levels with different attributes. For example, Agile could be viewed as a set of rules, rituals, and ceremonies, which would appeal to the advanced beginner, or it could be viewed as a way to learn and correct past performance, which is something a proficient stage person can do.

A great example of this is applying design patterns. An advanced beginner sees the potential for patterns everywhere! And the end up with something like EnterpriseFizzBuzz.

Conclusion: Check out the book

I recommend picking up a copy of Pragmatic Thinking and Learning, by Andy Hunt. I didn’t even cover all of chapter 2—there’s a great case study on how the model was applied to the nursing profession, and the author ties this to software development. The rest of the book has some great tips for learning and problem solving. I highly recommend it.

The five stages


  • they need a recipe
  • don’t know what they don’t know
  • prefer walkthroughs, in person if possible

Advanced beginner

  • start to break away from the fixed rule set
  • learn new tasks as the need arises
  • can use advice in a similar context
  • want information fast, but not the big picture
  • no broad-based conceptual understanding of the task set
  • solo learning is more possible


  • Troubleshooting skills
  • “They can mentor the novices and don’t annoy the experts overly much”
  • informal leadership role
  • more deliberate planning
  • Still can’t apply agile methods to the full extent (!)


  • can correct previous poor task performance
  • learn from the experience of others
  • apply maxims (Don’t Repeat Yourself)
  • know what they don’t know


  • work from intuition
  • unconscious competence (can’t explain why)
  • can take context into account
  • very rare!

Creating financial systems

Financial systems are “set it and forget it” applied to your personal finances. They are valuable because they save you from having to worry about your money. For example, instead of making a decision to save each month, it happens automatically. It helps you focus your attention on things that do matter, like creating value for other people.

My favorite guide on creating systems for personal finance is by Ramit Sethi, called The Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance.

In it, Ramit talks about a prescriptive budget and a descriptive budget. The descriptive budget is where your money is currently going. Due to my obsessive tracking of my expenses in Gnucash, I already had this. Do you need to be like me? Probably not—there exist tools like that can aggregate various spending accounts into one convenient place.

A prescriptive budget is a plan for spending each month. Here’s one way to create a spending plan:

  • Fixed costs: things like rent, utilities, debt
  • Investments: your 401k and Roth IRA contributions
  • Savings: Build up an emergency fund if you haven’t already. Otherwise, this is for accumulation fund for things like vacation, house down payments, etc.
  • Guilt-free spending money: Groceries, eating out, shirts from REI, movies.

Then you want to create systems that automate the categories in your prescriptive budget. That way, you spend less time worrying about money and more time enjoying the guilt-free spending money.

Does that sound like more fun than constantly worrying about financies? If so, head on over to The Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance.

2018 Tech Reading Challenge

Many of us are challenging ourselves to grow in the new year. One area of growth I strive for is in my career as a software developer. To that end, I’m sharing my 2018 reading challenge. I hope you will find it stretches your technical ability.

How it works

  • Choose a reading goal early in the year and set your pace accordingly.
    • The beginner reading challenge is 1 book a quarter.
    • The advanced reading challenge is 1 book a month with 2 months off.
  • Choose the books and read them in any order, checking them off as you complete them.
  • Post about your progress on Twitter using the hashtag #2018TechReadingChallenge. (Cross-post on Slack too)


  • Define your definition of “read,” since some technical books are pretty dry if you try to read them from cover to cover.
  • Ignore the categories and use #2018TechReadingChallenge about any software development book you read this year.

2018 Reading challenge (beginner—4 books)

  • A book about unit testing
  • A book about a framework, tool, or language
  • A book recommended by a coworker
  • A book published in 2018

2018 Reading challenge (advanced—10 books)

  • All the books in the beginner list plus:
  • A book about leadership
  • A book about an abstract concept
  • A book about software architecture
  • A book about agile
  • A book from the 80s
  • A book with an animal on the cover


You are what you buy?

Recently I have slipped into thinking I am defined by what I consume. For example, if I buy this REI shirt that will make me more of an outdoors person. Or if I found a clever deal for a bike rack on Craigslist, it will show the world how frugal I am and make me more of a biker. Or if I wait to buy a new TV, that shows that I have self-control and am not going beyond my financial means.

I also start zeroing in on what I will buy in the future. I spend a lot of time curating shopping lists, or finding the right reviews, and trying to decide whether I will buy a thing this month or next month based on my budget.

This is silly. My identity is not defined by what I buy, when I buy it, or whether I had good self discipline. I think I have been too much focused on how these exterior things define me.

Instead, I want to focus on things I create, adding value to the world instead of just consuming value. So for example, at work, I should be getting my projects done on time, and creating value by collaborating with my coworkers effectively. At home, I can create value by caring for others in a sacrificial way. I can create value by writing blog posts, or by being a good steward of things I already own. I want to have a vision for the future that is defined by how I will be faithful to God, not by how I will be faithful to my budget.

Learning in the midst of information overload

We live in a world where we are easily inundated by information. Our news feeds constantly update, providing an endlessly scrolling list of tidbits. There are always more Youtube videos, more podcasts, and more articles in our feed readers.

My own story roughly matches this. In the past I tried to cull my list of subscriptions: follow the right people on Twitter and unfollow the ones who tweeted too much. I tried to save time by only clicking on the interesting headlines. Ultimately I found that I still couldn’t keep up, and I was afraid of missing out on what I wasn’t clicking on.

The main mistake is “trying to keep up” in the first place—or having this passive, feed reading behavior be your only way of learning new things. Reading Twitter is a good way to keep up, but it shouldn’t be the only professional development that you do. Sure, it might help you discuss the latest ideas with your coworkers at lunch, but it’s also not going to go very deep for actually improving your professional skills.

Active Learning

Stop Passive Learning. Start Active Learning,” by Andrea Angela was the original impetus for me to write this blog post. The main point of the blog post is to stop endlessly consuming news feeds, because it leaves you constantly feeling behind. Then you have free time, and this allows you to choose a topic to learn, and then look for resources around that topic.

I like that Angela acknowledges that we won’t always have the mental capacity to do “active learning,” and that it is at those times that he turns back to his news feeds in a more passive approach.

Another blog, “Improve Your Self-Improvement” has a similar idea. Don’t just learn something and then set it aside. Share what you learned with others.

Ratio of producing to consuming

After I read about active learning I immediately remembered John Sonmez’s video about the 70-30 rule. This rule talks about the ratio of consuming to producing. Spend 70% of your time producing and 30% of your time consuming. Producing is making value for others, and consuming is just a passive activity where you are looking to be entertained or “informed” but you aren’t actually using that information.

When I think about the 70-30 rule I think of several contexts where I am producing and consuming.

At work, I probably do follow this ratio. In the work context, I would associate producing with tasks like coding, debugging, documentation, and giving demos. I would associate consuming with things like reading my email, checking out the work news feed, and reading the all-company announcements and stuff.

The other context is my after-work work, a term borrowed from “Improve your Self-Improvement” meaning professional development or personal development that is career-related that you do on your own time. In this context, I am striving to move more toward the 70-30 ratio. Some producing tasks include writing blog posts (yay, doing that right now), or taking notes, or coding on a side project. Some consuming tasks include watching Pluralsight, reading my RSS feeds, or other articles I come across on Twitter.

In conclusion, I want to be more proactive, and come up with my own ideas, rather than trying to react and digest others’ ideas all the time. I want to have my own opinions about what is important to keep up with in the tech industry, rather than just assuming that the newest thing is important to me.

Investing for retirement: some recommended books

Probably the biggest mistake you could make investing your money would be to listen to “advisers” who really are making a commission off your ignorance. Instead, you would do well to learn a little and then make your own choices. At the top I’ve put my favorite resource on this topic, a 16-page booklet by William Bernstein. There are also two suggested books.

“If You Can”

For those who don’t want to read an entire book about investing, I recommend Bernstein’s 16-page booklet entitled “If You Can: How Millennials Can Get Rich Slowly.” It is also available as a free PDF (linked from his website, halfway down on his “New Books” page).

The booklet gives a high-level overview, and also gives reading assignments for those who want to dive deeper (sorry, books are inescapable). It’s organized according to the 5 hurdles people who want to save for retirement on their own will face, paraphrased below:

  1. The temptation to spend instead of save.
  2. Lack of understanding of finance.
  3. Lack of understanding of the history of finance.
  4. Human shortcomings in long-term decision-making.
  5. The “monsters” of the financial industry who give “advice”

The Sound Mind Investing Handbook

The Sound Mind Investing Handbook: A Step-By-Step Guide To Managing Your Money From A Biblical Perspective, by Austin Pryor, is a good introduction to being a steward of money for God’s glory. The book is organized into sections according to different stages of personal financial management.

Section 1: Getting Debt-Free
Section 2: Saving for Future Needs
Section 3: Investing Your Surplus
Section 4: Diversifying for Safety
Section 5: Retirement countdown
Section 6: Investing That Glorifies God

Sections 1–5 discuss the how/why of personal finances from a practical point of view. Topics covered include asset allocation, timing the market (why not to attempt to time the market), the disciplines of investing, risk preference, and, how taxes will affect your investments.

Section 6 discusses the why of investing from a spiritual perspective. Pryor discusses his own story, how he got into the financial industry, and how he had a spiritual encounter and came to know Jesus Christ. Then he goes into what the Bible says about money, investing, and stewardship.

I think the strength of this book is its completeness. It serves as a good reference guide, due to both the variety of topics covered and the depth they are covered. There are some nice example calculations as well. On the other hand, at times the book can get a bit bogged down in its handbook style.

The Investor’s Manifesto

The Investor’s Manifesto: Preparing for Prosperity, Armageddon, and Everything in Between, by William Bernstein and Jonathan Clements, focuses on how the average person can manage their retirement savings successfully.

In the old days companies would give you a pension plan, and you would be set. But now the responsibility is on us to manage our 401(k)/IRA/what have you. Unfortunately successfully managing your retirement savings is a difficult task. It requires at least 4 abilities:

  • An interest in the process
  • An understanding of the math (probability and statistics)
  • An understanding of financial history
  • Emotional discipline to execute the planned strategy “come hell or high water”

The book is broken down into the following sections:

  • Chapters 1–3 give a theoretical basis and a brief financial history
  • Chapter 4 talks about “the greatest enemy facing investors”—look in the mirror, it’s you
  • Chapters 5–6 focus on executing your investing plan in the face of hurdles, like the “piranhas” of the financial industry

I enjoyed reading Bernstein’s book. He balanced out the investment details with some fun anecdotes and a bit of humor. All of the math stuff got swept aside into “Math Detail” sidebars.

Compared to Pryor’s book, Bernstein’s book spent less time on practical concerns like the cost of personal debt or how to budget, and spent more time on investment history and theory. Bernstein also covered a few more investment types, such as real estate investment trusts (REITs), which I had not personally been exposed to yet.